A few decades ago, living together without being married was something of a scandal in the neighborhood. Today, few Brazilians still find this arrangement strange.
And living together can happen at different times in a couple's life: before or after marriage, with or without children, with or without registration at the registry office. There are many possibilities!
www.skymarketing.com.pk strives to be Pakistan's biggest real estate developer ever, guaranteeing the highest international standards, prompt execution, and lifetime customer loyalty. With projects like blue world
In this post, you will find:
- Important signs to live together (or at least talk about it)
- How to circumvent the fear of living together
- How to start the conversation to live together
- How the Law sees rights and duties of couples living together
6 SIGNS THAT THE TIME HAS COME TO LIVE TOGETHER
1. DO YOU PLAN FOR THE FUTURE TAKING THE OTHER INTO ACCOUNT
When there have been serious conversations about what you intend to do in two, three, five years and beyond and those plans involve each other that future is under construction. And living together is part of this for many people!
2. YOU ALREADY SPEND MORE TIME AT EACH OTHER'S HOUSE
It is common that, during courtship, the couple ends up spending several days in a row (or weeks or even months!) At one or the other's house. Sometimes one house is more frequented than the other, sometimes it is more balanced. It varies according to each situation. When that happens a long time ago, deciding to live together is almost a natural decision - and you save a rent!
3. IT MAKES FINANCIAL SENSE (AND YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT IT)
Living together means sharing, prioritizing and talking a lot about financial resources. This clarification is vital to avoid unnecessary problems and constraints, as money is a difficult subject for many people. If the expenses involved in living together are clear and there is maturity to talk about the topic, the decision becomes easier.
4. DO YOU HELP EACH OTHER WITH HOUSEHOLD CHORES
When living with someone, be it a partner, a friend or a family member, it is necessary to establish rules, limits and good practices when it comes to keeping the house in order. If you already know how to help yourself in these tasks - and talk about them when things are not working - you are on the right path to live under the same roof.
Are you here and looking for an apartment? Check out the best options on the Loft website!
5. DO YOU FEEL EXCITED TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Living with your boyfriend every day is definitely different from any other housing arrangement, as it becomes the famous “life for two”. And that can be really cool! So if learning new ways of living together and trying new things makes sense to you, living together will be an interesting adventure.
6. EXPECTATIONS ARE ALIGNED
All of the items mentioned above deal, in a way, with expectations (financial, affective, practical…). Having them aligned is extremely necessary for one party not to understand one thing and the other to understand something totally different. And if there is a lack of clarity in alignment, those who want to live together already have the maturity to bring this issue up.
DODGING THE FEAR OF LIVING TOGETHER AND “PUTTING THE RAGS TOGETHER”
Living together is not a decision to be made overnight, but it also does not need to be seen as something definitive. Living together is something that a couple can experience when they feel mature enough to do so and can also be changed or even undone if necessary.
In other words, don't be afraid to test: many couples even include a “test drive” in their planning to live together.
And when communication is good enough to adjust and fine-tune whatever is necessary - noises at first are practically inevitable, it is normal -, this experiment becomes more and more interesting, strengthening ties and expanding horizons of coexistence.
There are, of course, some common questions, such as "what if I lose my privacy?" or “What if I want to spend time alone?” The answer for both is in good communication with the partner.
There is no need to fear wanting your own space and spending time on your own . In fact, when necessary, experts advise asking for this time for your partner - be it in the form of taking a solo walk around the neighborhood, taking a certain course, doing an activity on your own and so on. In this way, you are guaranteed space to process your feelings and do not create unnecessary resentment.
Another fear of living together involves fighting with your partner. But arguments and conflicts are inevitable in the life of any couple, so it is not the fight itself that is the problem, but how the fight is processed. Again, the key is communication, as well as finding an argument that works for both of you to cool things down and not escalate friction. It could even be a phrase like: "This fight is going too far, it's time to take some time to think". Anything that works for both of you.
"LET'S LIVE TOGETHER?" HOW TO KNOW IF THE PAIR IS UP FOR THIS CONVERSATION
For many couples who went to live together, the conversation ended up coming naturally and gradually, as the frequency with which they saw each other increased, belongings piled up in each other's homes and decisions were increasingly made together.
The trigger itself can come in many ways , such as renewing a rental contract ("Do we not take advantage and already live together?"), A new job ("With this new salary, now you can close an apartment to live together? ”), the adoption of a pet and so on.
To share the same roof, the ideal is to live together for a certain time (but there is no fixed minimum period!) And to be clear about the best and worst moments of the relationship, to make sure that this commitment would not be for nothing.
So if you and your partner already share a lot of intimacy , know their respective habits and rhythms , know how to accept each other's peculiarities, share space and talk about money, the conversation can start when it is interesting for you .
After all, there is already a solid enough basis in this relationship to process any response that comes, be it positive, negative or neutral, right?
And it is worth remembering that talking about living together is a process, not a yes or no decision, now or never. That is, ask when it looks like a good time and start maturing this idea with your partner!
BOYFRIENDS OR MARRIED? KEEPING AN EYE ON LEGISLATION
The doubt about the marital status of those who live together is common, and it makes sense because the law does not leave exactly clear when an informal union becomes a stable union before the law. Therefore, there is a lawyer who even proposes to write a declaration of dating!
First, it is necessary to clarify the difference between stable union and marriage. The marriage is an official of the union, which is performed by a justice of the peace and notarized, and require a prenuptial agreement which deals with the division of assets. In other words, it is an essentially legal bond between the parties and before the State.
The stable union, on the other hand, does not need to be formalized in a notary office, although it is also seen by the Brazilian State as a family entity (that is, it is made with the intention of constituting a family nucleus). If the couple wishes to make the union official and register it in a notary, they can also, via public deed.
Among the rights of those who live together and are not married (but have a stable union) are the inclusion of the other party in health insurance, the right to share goods, the right to alimony and the right to inheritance, among others.
Having a stable union (whether registered or not) in the eyes of the law means having a public, continuous and lasting coexistence that exists with the aim of starting a family (which does not involve the obligation to have children). And it is worth adding that, if 5 years of cohabitation were required before, today there is no longer a minimum time to set up a stable union.
IS LIVING TOGETHER A STABLE UNION?
It looks confusing, right? With this description above, how would living together not automatically be a stable union?
For the key lies in the intentionality of that union. The stable union is the result of a couple who want to form a family nucleus. And two boyfriends who live together can, yes, live together without wanting to start a family.
It is even the understanding of the Supreme Federal Court, which has ruled on the subject a few times and vehemently pointed to the objective of forming a family as a great differential, something that can be thought of as effectively and totally sharing lives.
Clarifying this difference is a subject that is widely debated in law. But those who live together can pack their bags in peace, because the Justice usually understands (through witnesses, evidence, documents, testimonies, etc.) the difference between having a stable union and dating and living together (something that some jurists call “qualified dating”).
In times when different forms of union exist and what constitutes a family nucleus involves different compositions, suffice it to say that the law is evolving along with Brazilian society.
